About Me

My photo
Quezon City, Philippines
Paramore and Linkin Park fan. I still support OPM. I always do.

Stop this song..

Music lover.
This is my life.
And I won't be able to give up on this.

Red has been my ultimate favorite color. For me, it stands for passion and dedication.

I am also a band lover..
Especially, Paramore..
They're cool, awesome,funny,excellent,dedicated..
The personality that this band have is being humble..
And that is the main reason why this band stand out for me.. They know how to jive-in to their fans..
They know how to appreciate..
So they are my number one =)

I can describe myself to you as an extraordinary..
(not the one with a third eye's or sixth sense or something)
what I mean is.. I can be as lovable as teddy bears..
I can also be as dangerous as fire..
I can be your best-est friend and worst-est enemy..

Follow me and let us start a new relationship out of this :)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What Life Has To Offer?

                There are a lot of people who never see things as they are. Complicated situations make other people strong, some just plain human being. I’ve never been in the real world- except those who I got to work with- but real world for me sounds odd. When you’re at school, the elders would tell you, “oh! You’re so lucky you still have the chance to mold your dreams and just do whatever you wanted.” But, honestly, it is not as easy as they thought it would be. Primary School went a little cool for me. I’ve never been the “popular” one nor the one who’s on-the-bleachers, but a normal student- normal, meaning, the one’s who goes to school, have friends, join the fun, do good and do bad. High School was a bit overrated. I met people who are whimsically fun, those who do not know what bleak means and those who live for happiness. I missed them. I mean, going to College was a different turn of events. I basically have to leave the so called custom. Graduation arrived and we all have to bid each other goodbye and tomorrow, everything will change.

College- the wildest jungle one can ever imagine. I went into University where I thought I will see different nuances. But, guess what, I didn’t. I have to think things over- I mean, big things- and move out. I, finally, saw a home when I enter College of the Holy Spirit. Many of them were asking, “why did you transfer?” and the only words I could utter was, “I’m happy here,” and everything would just work out real fine. I spent 4 long years at the College and all the memories were all vivid, from the very first time I stepped on the grounds up to my last bows.

I didn’t get a job immediately after College. There were a lot of questions in my mind like, what was wrong with me? Don’t I have what other fresh grad has? Am I not that good? But, unfortunately, the answers were always indistinct. My peers tell me to pray and speak with your heart for when you do that, you’ll definitely receive what you’ve prayed for. I did, but look where I am right now, in front of my computer, doing some blogs about life and experience a melancholic day. I shouldn’t be so derisory right now because first, this is my decision. Second, I pushed so hard to get what I dreamed of, to be a Director, -oh, yes, I haven’t told you that part, well maybe some other time if I finally acquired it. Third, I always believe in, no guts, no glory proverb thing. Hence, I am a certified bum. Funny it may seem, but I’m still grasping into my dreams. Torpor must be a real villain and dwelling on it is a huge problem, nevertheless, do an effort to make things change.


            Life is a constant battle and no one said it is going to be easy, not unless you’re armed. If you didn’t get what you want, don’t give up; change the plan instead. What you are now is always your choice. No one told you to take the weight off your feet, but yourself. Waiting can actually drive you nuts, but believe me, it will come. Your dreams will never fly to you because if it’s yours it will surely come to you whatever it takes. Therefore, get up there and do something. There are a lot of people you need to prove wrong! Be optimistic and do not ever forget to pray and thank Him. 

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Voice of the Dragon



Let me just share my experience with the best Filipino band of all time, Queso, at the last leg of their “KamiQuesoHoundz” tour at the B Side, Makati City last February 25, 2013.
My friends and I, were all stoked and can’t wait for the main event which was the time for Kamikazee, Greyhoundz and Queso. That was not my first time seeing them live, but I was still left in awe while they were playing “Mottaka” – my favorite song. Technicals were harsh, I mean, I had a hard time listening to Ian’s voice, but thank God he’s such a professional! Moshpits were everywhere up until the last song, “Insekta.” There were a lot of different people, in different genres. One thing I learned about from this event is that, no matter how famous these people were, they were grounded. 





They love their fans – they treat them as if they are a part of the family. I also saw how bonded these people. I will never forget Eight Toleran’s favorite line, “Mata sa Langit, Paa sa Lupa,” because they live in it.




Other people will never understand their way of expressing themselves – tattoos, smoke, alcohol and so forth- they will say something bad about them, but they don’t care, instead they continue their lives and keep on writing good music which I truly admire. Continue on inspiring us, Queso. Continue in making good music and as you always say, “Pagmamahal lagi.”


Saturday, March 2, 2013

To Write Love On Her Arms


Circles and cycles of love, yes it is
Wholes and shadows of loneliness are this
Your eyes can’t see, ears can’t hear, hands are wrest
Your lips are sealed, words are loss, and all are less
Twisted and handcuffed from the sting of bees
Still your eyes can show people a bliss
Your mind holding all the stories at best
Your heart may keep all the feelings at rest
It may sound difficult and hard at first
You may feel anger or hatred and burst
But love will always find a way, it always is
Just like Sleeping Beauty and the kiss
Love; no matter how tricky, we are bless
‘Cause this is the most magical duress

Friday, December 28, 2012

He Loves Us


May 2, 1992- the year I was born. This, I guess, is the most amazing thing happened to my mom and dad- because I was the first child. My mom made sure that every time I’ll cry every dawn she’ll be there and will be making milk for me. My school days came and I will never forget what my mom is always telling me, “if you were asked by your teacher don’t ever be shy and hesitate to answer. And if it’s wrong, don’t give up, you’ll soon know the correct answer to his/her questions,” indeed, she was right!

My first crush came and she’s always, “you have to finish your studies first. It’s okay to have crushes, they’re just inspirations, but don’t forget that you also have your limitations.”
I had my first boyfriend and I kept it to her thinking that I might be scolded or rebuked by her, but when she found out, the only thing she told me was, “firsts are amazing, seized it.”
I never imagined that being in love is just like being on a battle, a battle where the only thing you need is a heart and an open mind, but I don’t have those at that time, so I lose it and started to think of things that are beyond life, like death, but I remember what my mom said, “firsts are amazing, seized it,” so what I did was, I cried- like the whole night- learn from it and moved on.

There are a lot of trials, problems and obstacles I need to surpass on before reaching and becoming what I am today. Not passing my first ever entrance exam to the university my mom wanted me to enter, not getting the course my mom wanted me to get, being laughed at, keeping my God given talent- because I thought, I was not as great as everybody else- disappointing my parents for failing my grades way back 2008, not having that self confidence, being so shy, being too insecure, not reaching people’s expectations to me, not having trust to myself and to Him.

I sometimes asked God why He’s giving me a hard time, why can’t it be a happy life until I finally face death. Why do I have to be someone who doesn’t have anything? Why am I hurting so much? Why do I have to over think things? Why can life be so easy? But I get no answer; He gave me blessings- a lot of blessings, instead. That moment, I finally realized that, it’s not about who hurt the most or who cried a lot, it’s about how faith and trust you have for Him. I questioned my faith before and not wanting to be with Him nor believing in Him, but believe it or not, He is the only one who listens when nobody else does. He is the only shoulder I cried on when the world turn its back on me. He is the only man who respected me when all of them are being so insolent. He is the only one who loved me despite of my shortcomings. He hugged my weaknesses, insecurities, coyness, unfaithfulness and discouragement.

Now, I am very fortunate because I am learning to regain what my mom was telling me when I was just a little kid, “you are an amazing daughter and you have an amazing talent. Don’t be shy to show the world what you have and keep me and daddy proud, but most of all keep Him proud.” Today, I am able to show and proved to the people who didn’t believed in me that I can do all the things they thought I couldn’t be. Today, I can sing in front of the world. Today, I can be someone my mom and dad are proud of. Today, I cannot be cheated or hurt or lied on. Today is about my dreams and finally reaching them. Today, I can be me- just me.

Thank you Lord because you taught me how to be brave and how to fight for the things that are worth it. Thank you for giving me my family who were there despite of me having my tantrums and unpredictable moods. Thank you because I finally see the light inside my heart. Thank you because you are always with me no matter what. Thank you because you’re making me always happy. Thank you because you’re always giving me hope. Thank you because you believed in me. Thank you for being my hands in reaching my dreams, my eyes for seeing the truth, my mouth for speaking what is right, my ears for hearing the good words and most especially, my heart for loving the people who love and hate me. I know you will forever be with me now that I finally open my heart to you. I know you will never let me down.

I’ve never been this happy and contented, just now. My heart is just full of love. I can definitely say, “He loves us.”

Saturday, November 17, 2012

That kind of guy

Most of us, especially girls, want a guy who can provide everything we wanted and wished for.
Or a guy who's "perfect."
Tall.
White.
Chinito.
Vampire like.
Cute smile.
Amazing outfit.
Justin Bieber.
ABS and etc..

But as for me? I've got one definition of a real man, and that is.. "loyal"
In all honesty, I don't easily fall in love- well, not unless we've known each other for like, 10 years- of course, I can at least tell if I've fallen in love with you or not.
Anyway, for the past 4 years that I've been all alone- technically, single.
I have already made a picture of my "almost perfect man"
Let me it start with this..
I want a guy who can laugh with me even when the whole world is literally staring at us.
I want a guy who is willing to stay up all night just because he wanted to see me in my most innocent state.
I want a guy who is not ashamed of having a bad-hair-day or no-gel-day, but still can go outside and have a walk with me.
I want a guy who is not afraid to have a fight with me and still stand for what he think is right.
I want a guy who is willing to have a shopping day with me and will not- never- look bored.
I want a guy who will understand that I love Banana's and will never question me why I buy too much of it.
I want a guy who will understand that I love bands.
I want a guy who will be with me watching concerts- from rock concerts to love mellow concerts, just like the Air Supply concert tour.
I want a guy who can sing in a Live Karaoke and will never be ashamed even when he can't hit the notes.
I want a guy who is not as vain as me.
I want a guy who can take good pictures.
I want a guy who can play at least one musical instrument.
I want a guy who will not get mad if I put make-up on him while he's sleeping.
I want a guy who is not afraid to wear pink.
I want a guy who can watch a movie with me and not be annoyed if I always make a side comments.
I want a guy who is not afraid to have social networking sites- he's a human after all.
I want a guy who is not as intelligent as Einstein, but not as ignorant as Patrick Star.
I want a guy who can bravely show to her mom that he's a big guy already.
I want a guy who has own decisions in life.
I want a guy who can consider himself as an artist- having a tattoo is a bonus.
I want a guy who loves to cook.
I want a guy who is friendly, but not flirty.
I want a guy who is willing to dance- even if he's not a dancer.
I want a guy who can understand if I say I can't hold his hands or hug or kiss him, yet.
I want a guy who knows how to listen.
I want a guy who loves music as much as I do.
I want a guy who has a good sense of humor.
I want a guy that will surprise me in the most unexpected days.
I want a guy who can act they say rather than say it alone.
I want a guy that is worth my trust.
I want a guy who will love my mom.
I want a guy who can put all our pictures together in his room and not be ashamed of it.
I want a guy who knows how to respect.
I want a guy who will still stay outside with his friends even without my permission, because I think, they are still entitled with their own freedom.
I want a guy who will call me up late just to say I love you.
I want a guy who will not depend everything on me, but rather depend everything to Him.
I want a guy who will never get tired of listening to my random rants.
I want a guy that can write songs.
I want a guy who cannot sleep, up until we've settled everything.
I want a guy who is not narrow minded.
I want a guy who will understand that I am not like any other girls- that I have an unusual mood swings. That I cannot handle my emotions sometimes.
I want a guy who can say to my dad that I am the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
and lastly,
I want a guy who is perfectly imperfect. :-)

I know it is kinda impossible that one guy will have all this qualities, no ones perfect, right?
But, still, I am hoping that there's someone out there who is willing to be like one just because he loves me and he thinks I am the one.

It may take years and years before love comes, but I am still willing to wait for that kind of guy. ♥

Thursday, July 26, 2012

SOON...


Saan kaya ako pwedeng magsimula?
Kailan kaya ako makakapagsimula?
Bakit ba kailangang magsimula kung magtatapos lang din naman?
Paano ba magsimula kung ayaw mo namang matapos?
Minsan, iniisip ko.. Tama kaya yung mga desisyon na nagagawa ko sa araw-araw?
Tama kaya yung mga bagay na nabibitiwan kong salita sa mga taong nakakasalamuha ko?
Ano kayang mangyayari bukas?
Tapos sa bukas pagkatapos ng bukas?

Minsan, iniisip ko, sana madali nalang sumagot ng mga tanong noh?
Sana madali nalang tumanggap ng masamang balita.
Sana madali nalang tumanggap ng pagkatalo.
Sana iba ako.
Sana ako, siya.
Kaso, hindi.
Iba ako. Iba siya.

Diba sabi nila, pagpinilit mong hanapin yung wala sayo, hindi ka kailanman sasaya?
Pero, bakit ako?
Nakita ko na siya, pero wala siya sakin, pero masaya pa din ako?
Anong tawag dun?
Martir o mapagbigay?
Haha. Pano nga ba ko magiging mapagbigay kung nung una palang hindi naman siya naging akin?
Hmm.. Siguro, mali yung sabi nilang hindi ka sasaya kung pilit mong hinahanap yung wala sayo..
Baka ang gusto nilang sabihin, madali lang maging masaya, ang dapat lang, imulat mo ang iyong mga mata.
Nagawa mo na ba yun?
Kung ako ang tatanungin, malamang hindi pa.
Kasi alam kong hanggang ngayon, bulag padin ako sa katotohanang masaya ako dahil nandiyan siya.

Pagpinikit mo yung mga mata mo, anong nakikita mo?
Madilim diba?
Pero kahit papano, may naaaninag kang liwanag.
Yun siguro yung gusto nilang sabihin, yung liwanag na yon ang makakapagsabi ng kung ano ang makakapagpasaya sayo.
Sana madali nalang magmulat ng mata at tanggapin kung ano ang nasa harap mo na.
Sana madali nalang tumanggap ng mga bagay-bagay.
Kaya lang, hindi ganoon.

Tao lang tayo.
May mga bagay na gusto nating ipaglaban kahit man lang sa huli.
May mga bagay na gusto nating baguhin.
May mga bagay na pilit nating binabago kahit sa huli, talo na tayo.
Kasi nga, tao lang tayo.
Ganoon tayo ginawa.
Ganoon tayo tinuruan.
Yun bang ‘wag basta basta sumuko sa mga pagsubok na darating sayo.

Ikaw?
Saan mo balak magsimula?
Kailan mo nalalaman kung dapat ka pa bang lumaban?
Paano ba ang tumanggap ng pagkatalo?
Bakit ba kailangan may natatalo?
Sana madali lang malaman.
Sana malaman ko na.
Sana matanggap ko na.
Sana sabihin na din ng panahon na, tama na.
At paggising ko, wala na lahat.
Tapos alam ko na kung saan, paano, kailan at bakit ko kailangan magsimula.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

My Happy Ending

               I know that nobody's perfect, but this won't stop me from hoping that someday, someone who's perfect for me will come. He will be someone I dreamt of, someone who will love not just my positive sides but also my flaws and weaknesses. He will have my heart and full trust, and he will not - never - hurt me. Every time I'm with him, I will feel like I'm in Cloud 9;
We will be good together and good for each other.

              Someday, I will fall in love with the right person, at the right time, and for all the right reasons. And when that happens, I will not get so caught up in him that I will forget all the little things I love about myself, like my dreams, the things I can do and the people who love me. He will help me achieve my little goals everyday, like to smile and be contented, and even support me in pursuing my grandest, craziest dream: TO BE A FILMMAKER!

              I may not seen into the person I deserve anytime soon, but that's okay; I have my whole life ahead of me. I 'm not in a hurry. I know the good and loving guy is out there and he is also looking for me. And when we do find each other, it will be real and wonderful and magical and AMAZING! And I will know for sure that the long wait - and maybe even the heartbreaks that came with it - was totally worth it.



This was from Candy! Mag 2010 issue, if I'm not mistaken. I completed the blank parts so that it'll look more like it's from my "fairy tale like" journal.