May 2, 1992- the year I was born. This, I
guess, is the most amazing thing happened to my mom and dad- because I was the
first child. My mom made sure that every time I’ll cry every dawn she’ll be
there and will be making milk for me. My school days came and I will never
forget what my mom is always telling me, “if you were asked by your teacher
don’t ever be shy and hesitate to answer. And if it’s wrong, don’t give up,
you’ll soon know the correct answer to his/her questions,” indeed, she was right!
My first crush came and she’s always,
“you have to finish your studies first. It’s okay to have crushes, they’re just
inspirations, but don’t forget that you also have your limitations.”
I had my first boyfriend and I kept it to
her thinking that I might be scolded or rebuked by her, but when she found out,
the only thing she told me was, “firsts are amazing, seized it.”
I never imagined that being in love is
just like being on a battle, a battle where the only thing you need is a heart
and an open mind, but I don’t have those at that time, so I lose it and started
to think of things that are beyond life, like death, but I remember what my mom
said, “firsts are amazing, seized it,” so what I did was, I cried- like the
whole night- learn from it and moved on.
There are a lot of trials, problems and
obstacles I need to surpass on before reaching and becoming what I am today.
Not passing my first ever entrance exam to the university my mom wanted me to
enter, not getting the course my mom wanted me to get, being laughed at,
keeping my God given talent- because I thought, I was not as great as everybody
else- disappointing my parents for failing my grades way back 2008, not having
that self confidence, being so shy, being too insecure, not reaching people’s
expectations to me, not having trust to myself and to Him.
I sometimes asked God why He’s giving me
a hard time, why can’t it be a happy life until I finally face death. Why do I
have to be someone who doesn’t have anything? Why am I hurting so much? Why do
I have to over think things? Why can life be so easy? But I get no answer; He
gave me blessings- a lot of blessings, instead. That moment, I finally realized
that, it’s not about who hurt the most or who cried a lot, it’s about how faith
and trust you have for Him. I questioned my faith before and not wanting to be
with Him nor believing in Him, but believe it or not, He is the only one who
listens when nobody else does. He is the only shoulder I cried on when the
world turn its back on me. He is the only man who respected me when all of them
are being so insolent. He is the only one who loved me despite of my
shortcomings. He hugged my weaknesses, insecurities, coyness, unfaithfulness
and discouragement.
Now, I am very fortunate because I am
learning to regain what my mom was telling me when I was just a little kid,
“you are an amazing daughter and you have an amazing talent. Don’t be shy to
show the world what you have and keep me and daddy proud, but most of all keep
Him proud.” Today, I am able to show and proved to the people who didn’t
believed in me that I can do all the things they thought I couldn’t be. Today,
I can sing in front of the world. Today, I can be someone my mom and dad are
proud of. Today, I cannot be cheated or hurt or lied on. Today is about my
dreams and finally reaching them. Today, I can be me- just me.
Thank you Lord because you taught me how
to be brave and how to fight for the things that are worth it. Thank you for
giving me my family who were there despite of me having my tantrums and
unpredictable moods. Thank you because I finally see the light inside my heart.
Thank you because you are always with me no matter what. Thank you because
you’re making me always happy. Thank you because you’re always giving me hope.
Thank you because you believed in me. Thank you for being my hands in reaching
my dreams, my eyes for seeing the truth, my mouth for speaking what is right,
my ears for hearing the good words and most especially, my heart for loving the
people who love and hate me. I know you will forever be with me now that I
finally open my heart to you. I know you will never let me down.
I’ve never been this happy and contented,
just now. My heart is just full of love. I can definitely say, “He loves us.”
